Cola, Candy, Chocolate (1979)

The film opens with a scene in a Munich nightclub, where the pretty young Gaby is hanging out. She is a brunette who turns away, bored, from her perpetually horny boyfriend, Karl. At the same time, the three-member Dutch girl group Luv’ takes the stage to perform their disco hit of the time, “Trojan Horse.” Gaby and her equally attractive, very young blonde friend Carmela want to fly to the Philippines for a vacation, leaving all their relationship troubles behind for a while. At the airport, Gaby already takes an interest in an attractive man named Andreas, though he is a little awkward and very much under the thumb of his buxom, rather domineering girlfriend, Christine. He wears glasses, but Gaby finds him somehow rather cute too—a nerd. The moment they arrive in the tropical holiday paradise, everything descends into chaos. Christine is supposed to be picked up by her brother Herbert, who works there as a priest, but his little chimpanzee takes the wheel of the jeep and drives off with Christine and Andreas. After a few comic mishaps, Gaby makes the first move on her first day at the beach, hoping to get closer to Andreas, whom she has her eye on. She approaches him and, in front of the jealous Christine, pretends that she and Andreas have known each other forever. The unsuspecting Andreas promptly gets into plenty of trouble with his fiancée, who wants her brother to marry them there. Gaby is not at all happy about this, since she thinks Andreas is much better suited to her than to Christine, who may be full-bosomed but is extremely catty, moody, and stupid. So Gaby uses her feminine charms to try to steal Christine’s future husband away from her. When she doesn’t get very far, Gaby enlists Carmela’s help. Carmela has a good rapport with an American tourist named Johnny Smith, although he can’t stand Gaby, since one mishap after another always befalls him in her presence. But he is practically eating out of Carmela’s hand, and agrees to help sabotage the upcoming wedding. First, he steals Father Herbert’s cassock and puts it on himself so he can ruin the wedding ceremony. Meanwhile, the real priest is frantically looking for his church vestments, because the bishop has just announced that he is coming. Dressed as a priest, Johnny runs straight into the arriving bishop, who immediately intends to give him a dressing-down. Johnny’s plan is thus ruined, but the bishop gets soaked too, when the church bells set off the local fire brigade—a ruckus started by Gaby—and, thanks to Herbert’s chimpanzee, the firefighters start wildly spraying water from the hose. Furious, the soaked bishop closes the mission, so the wedding can no longer take place. Triumphantly, Gaby tells Christine in front of her fiancé that, unfortunately, the planned wedding can’t go ahead. Andreas isn’t quite sure what to make of the whole thing. That evening, the hotel’s outdoor area hosts entertainment for the tourists, with wine, women, and song. The singing is provided by Christine, who has been blessed with a shrill voice, and Johnny, who now appears in women’s clothes. The next morning, a certain Roland turns up, supposedly the best man arranged by the priest. In reality, Gaby has tracked him down to hatch a new plan to stop the wedding. Meanwhile, the bishop is “battling” a group of naked Filipinas whom Gaby has smuggled into his apartment, mistakenly believing it to be Andreas and Christine’s. The “cassock thief” Johnny, still being chased all over the sand dunes by the priest, takes advantage of the confusion to steal the bishop’s vestments as well. Soon everyone is running away from everyone else, and everyone is chasing everyone. At last, things are cleared up: Johnny and Herbert go together to the bishop to explain the whole muddle to him. Andreas, who has given naked-bathing Gaby a thorough telling-off for her ongoing pranks to sabotage his wedding, has also sabotaged his own wedding by putting a laxative in the food given to the wedding guests the night before. He makes peace with the girl who did all this because she has fallen in love with him. The wedding is called off, and Andreas and Gaby get together, as do Christine, who has found a new lover in Johnny. Carmela is not left alone either: she has landed Roland.