Die Wunderübung (2018)

The married couple Joana and Valentin Dorek are in crisis. They are members of the bourgeois middle class: she is a historian, and he is a technical director in the aircraft industry. They have two children together. They met 17 years ago while on a diving vacation. Because of constant accusations against each other, unresolved hurt feelings, and conflicts that have never been addressed and regularly end in loud arguments, they go to a couples therapist for an initial consultation, where they are first asked to describe their expectations for the session. Among other exercises, the therapist asks them to list each other’s positive qualities, share positive memories, and switch roles, taking on the part of the other partner, symbolized by a hand puppet for each of them. In the so-called “fist exercise,” Valentin is supposed to get Joana to open her fist, symbolizing her heart, “closed by anger, rage, and grief.” Joana is to open her fist only when she feels ready. Valentin tries to force it open and fails. As they talk about meeting, their diving vacation, and their memories of it, they begin to thaw a little. But the mood quickly shifts again, and after a loud argument the therapist interrupts the session. After a break, the argument resumes. The therapist then asks them why they do not simply separate if the relationship clearly does not seem to be working. They are astonished and horrified by the question; separation is absolutely out of the question for them. When Joana asks what is wrong with the therapist that he would ask such a thing, he admits that his wife, Annika, has left him. During the break, she sent him an email telling him she was ending their marriage. Joana tries to find out why. The therapist leaves the room, saying he needs to make a phone call. At Joana’s request, when he returns he reads his wife’s email aloud, breaking into tears. Joana then reads the rest of the email, in which the therapist’s wife writes that his constant understanding and the harmony between them leave her missing friction, and that without friction there can be no warmth. Joana concludes that friction is essential in a relationship, and that she would rather burn out than freeze. The therapist then says that Joana and Valentin do not have a loving relationship, but a relationship based on fighting. With 20 minutes left in the session, the therapist ends it and says he cannot help them. Joana finds this completely unacceptable. The therapist says he is tired of ongoing relationship conflicts and wants to quit his job. The Doreks try to convince him that he is a very good therapist and should not simply throw everything away. Valentin analyzes the session they have just had. When the therapist’s mobile phone rings and his wife calls, he does not answer. Joana urges him to call his wife back during the remaining ten minutes of the session. Valentin thinks the therapist should take the Doreks as an example. Valentin and Joana join forces against the therapist, who among other things accuses them of failing at the fist exercise. Another exercise follows: the Doreks must keep their arms moving and the tips of their index fingers must remain in constant contact, while they are not allowed to speak to each other. After failing on their first attempt, they succeed on the second. The therapist then ends the session. Valentin says he now feels an impulse to open Joana’s fist. After tender touches and some tickling, Joana finally opens it. The Doreks leave the session relaxed and cheerful. After the session, the therapist calls his wife back and tells her he does not want to be interrupted by phone during a session. He tells her he used a paradoxical intervention and is confident that the Doreks will find their way back to each other.