Erkan & Stefan gegen die Mächte der Finsternis (2002)

A long time ago in Mesopotamia, Kartan tried to kill Tana, an oriental woman with a mystical air, using a magic dagger so he could secure world domination. He failed; instead, Tana was able to slip inside the dagger, which remained lost until the dawn of the 21st century. The film begins with Kartan, after a long search, managing to acquire the dagger through trickery. At last, the dagger is supposed to enable him to use a bloody ritual to subject all of humanity in this world to his dark rule forever. Kartan carries the dagger in his flight luggage, and as a result Erkan, who works alongside Stefan as a baggage handler at Munich Airport, gets hold of it and palms off a cheap Far Eastern imitation on Kartan, unaware of what the blade is. A little later, Kartan uses the fake dagger to begin the ceremony that is supposed to awaken Tana from the dagger and allow him to perform his gruesome ritual. But the spell instead affects the dagger in Erkan’s possession, just as he and Stefan are trying out his latest purchase—a video game with a “Bunny, Take Your Clothes Off” button. Tana awakens from the dagger and initially attacks Erkan and Stefan because she suspects that one of them is Kartan. Once the apartment is in ruins and it is clear that neither of them is Kartan, she sets off, as a guardian of good, on the mission entrusted to her: to track down and destroy Kartan. Having missed the changes of the past several millennia, she finds it extremely difficult to get her bearings in the modern world. But thanks to the tempting offer of a night of love, Erkan and Stefan are quickly willing to help her with the necessary know-how, protect her, and stop Kartan. Erkan and Stefan, however, have no idea where to begin their search. When Tana makes a rambling claim about a place where evil forces gather, the two think she means Mrs. Schmächtig’s anger-management class, which they and several hardened criminals attend. Driving a car belonging to Stefan’s brother Horst and pursued by two killers from Kartan’s cult, they set off for the class and cause huge chaos there, but still manage to escape. Kartan is waiting outside the building, however, and attacks Erkan, Stefan, and Tana. Tana manages to fend off the attack and temporarily take Kartan out, but she is grazed in the arm by a shot and collapses. Erkan and Stefan escape with her and give her medical attention at Erkan’s apartment. There, they see a TV report about the Necronomicon, which is to be displayed at Munich’s Marienplatz. Kartan needs the book to kill Tana. So Erkan and Stefan decide to get the book, but to defeat the sorcerer they need the power of will. They possess it, but cannot control it. Kartan manages to deceive Erkan and Stefan by disguising himself as Trixie, the woman they both have a crush on. With Tana’s dagger, they head to a nearby nightclub, where they are treated like VIPs. But when Trixie and another woman pay attention only to Erkan, Stefan gets jealous and decides to save the world on his own. When he gets the dagger, Trixie and her friend start flirting with Stefan, so Erkan and Stefan begin to argue. Amid all the chaos, they fail to notice that Tana has been left unprotected at Erkan’s apartment. Kartan’s killers take advantage of this, stunning her with a stun gun and kidnapping her. Erkan and Stefan realize what has happened too late, after making up, but they know where Tana is being held. Armed with a döner skewer and fake holy water—which turns out to be corrosive acid—they head to Marienplatz. They keep their grandfather’s advice in mind: never use someone else’s döner skewer, and be honest with each other. With a lot of luck, the two manage to take out the guards and the two killers and reach Tana, who is tied to an altar and waiting to be rescued. But their luck runs out when Kartan and the cult surprise them and capture them in turn. Nothing seems able to save Tana from certain death, since her life depends on Erkan and Stefan. To plunge the dagger into Kartan’s heart, they must overcome their pride and make numerous confessions so they have no secrets from each other. This works, and with the power of their will they manage to kill Kartan, free Tana, and destroy the cult. Tana is very grateful to them and is willing to spend a night of love with Erkan and Stefan. But they once again cannot overcome their pride and each wants to spend the night with her separately, leading to an hours-long argument, during which Tana falls asleep alone.